No fun in the sun

This afternoon a woman who works here part time came out of her office with all three of her kids to leave for the day. I don't like kids and therefore am horrible when it comes to judging their age by sight, but the oldest looked probably about 8 and the youngest was in a stroller so whatever that age is. Anyway, before going out the door, the woman stops all three of the kids and makes them put on sun hats. The weather outside today is sunny (high 60s maybe low 70s) but really not enough that you would think it makes sense for mandatory hats (if they ever are mandatory). However, the really weird part was that the hat she made the oldest girl wear was literally a bonnet. I am absolutely positive of this because not only did I do a double-take upon first seeing this but I managed to get a 360 degree look at it and all qualities of a bonnet were present. The elastic part that sits at the nape of the neck, the ties under the chin and the clearly defined curved bill that shields her face. This woman made her child wear a bonnet before going outside. Unless this child is currently obsessed with the Oregon Trail (a phase that I unfortunately managed to go through, although I never would have worn a bonnet in public)she is going to get her ass handed to her in school, if it isn't being handed to her already. If this isnt an indoor kid in the making, I dont know what is.

Freaky Friday

Mary Cooke came in this afternoon. Mary is a crazy woman who has come in twice since Ive been here looking for a priest that works in the Cardinal's office. Im not sure if she knows this priest personally or if she mildly stalks him, although either one of these circumstances wouldn't surprise me. She wanted to either speak to this priest or leave a present she had for him that was wrapped in butterfly printed paper. Mary is a nice woman who has chatted with me both times she has visited the Chancery, but she has a tendency to not stop once shes started. Luckily I got several calls at one time so I couldnt really chat. Last time she was here the cardinal's secretary got caught talking to her for like 20 minutes and when I called her to let her know Mary was here she literally said this " Mary Cooke? Who is this woman? Alright, can you describe what she looks like?" This I couldnt do because Mary was standing right in front of me, but I will describe her now.

Mary looks like shes somewhere in the 60s age range. She has gray hair which she had done up in a "Jane Austen-ish" do aka hair curled around her face but up in a bun in the back and was wearing a visor. She had on a turtle neck and what looked like a smock with a vest over it and a homely looking cardigan over that. Nothing matched. I cant describe her pants or shoes because I only saw her from the waist up, but I think you can grasp her overall look.

Catching onto the fact that I couldnt describe Mary over the phone, Sister Anthony (the secretary) asks "Does she look stable?"

Read Mary's description again. Now think of what you would say if she was staring you in the face and someone asks if she looks "stable" to you. My exact answer was this "....ummmmm....."

Sister Anthony told me to tell Mary to leave her present for this priest and tell her that he would get it.

No JoJo

The guy that told me the other day that I look like JoJo just walked by and asked me when the next concert is. I took be awhile to catch on to what the hell he was talking about, give a lame sympathy laugh and decided that my mild dislike of him has now elevated to full dislike.

Is JoJo even still around?

4 Minutes?

A guy with very few teeth and a tiny dog came in just as I was getting back from lunch and wanted to see the cardinal. Thankfully the woman who covers the phone for me during lunch was still hanging around and basically told him that no one could help him. It was mildly shocking/pretty funny. She basically told him that the cardinal was busy and that no other priests were here (i dont know if that statement was true or false) and if he wanted to talk to a priest he should go to his local parish. i.e. get out. It looks like the Catholics are too busy helping people to help people.

Almost immediately after this guy left a very bland looking woman came in to meet with Father Millan. Her name? Madonna. This is weird/amusing for many obvious reasons, but I have to say it was even weirder/more amusing when I called and got to say "Father Millan? Madonna is here to see you."

Speaking of her holiness - no, not that Madonna - guess who is seeing the "Sticky&Sweet Tour" in Vegas? memememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememememe.

Dopplegangger?

Some guy just told me I look like JoJo.

http://www.jojoonline.com/extras/jojo_desktop1_1024x768.jpg

The resemblance striking.

For the Fans

I have recently received complaints from my two readers that I havent posted in awhile and this pains them. And so my friends, this one is for you both.

I havent been updating recently because nothing interesting has really been going on, which is kind of nice for me but boring at the same time. However, something interesting did happen this morning when I was checking the messages. This woman called and gave her information and said that she was Catholic and lives in Oregon and thinks she is a victim of kidnapping and brainwash and wants someone to get in contact with her sister. There are several strange things about this situation, one being the obvious, but what was extremely bizarre was that this woman leaving the message was very calm and sounded almost bored. She was rambling on about trying to find her sister and being scared and whatnot but was completely bored throughout the whole message. I kind of wish she had called when I was there so I could get the deets and maybe get this woman to emote. Also, Im sorry, but what grown woman gets brainwashed and duped into moving to Oregon? And if this really is the case and now shes onto being brainwashed, why doesnt she just leave? She obviously made it to a phone and she decided to call the Archdiocese of Boston instead of someone more helpful like the police? Thats dumb. This is whats wrong with religious zealots because theyre so easy to manipulate into doing something so obviously stupid. Remember Elizabeth Smart? Her kidnappers kept her 8 miles from her house and she willingly stayed because they told her God wanted her to be with them. If God is telling you to do stupid things, like camping out with two crazies 8 miles away from your house, you probably shouldnt listen to him.

Boston College is having their commencement today. Not only am I bitter that they get their graduation on a beautiful day while my own took place inside the tennis bubble, but I can hear the ceremony from my window and its annoying. So congratulations, graduates! Look forward to low income, less downtime and shitty jobs!

Oh, and Ive become mildly obsessed with this
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flying_spaghetti_monster

Yeah, me neither.

"Hello? This is Robert Landry at 205 Abbott Street. I just want to let you know that I am not Catholic, thank you." click.

Ringtonez

A man just came in for a meeting with someone and while he was down in the lobby waiting his cell phone went off. His ringtone was "Razzle Dazzle" from the musical Chicago.

Long Story Short

I dont think anyone complains more about the Catholics than the Catholics themselves (besides me of course). Maybe its because no cares enough about what the Catholics do, although I did get one Jewish woman on the phone the other day who complained about how difficult it is to give money to the Catholic church, which I A.dont believe is true and B.can't really understand why a Jewish woman would want to donate money to the Catholic church in the first place. But that is neither here nor there.

Today I got a woman on the phone who wanted to make a complaint about her child's first communion. Now, what Im suppose to do when crap like this happens i.e. when people are mad and want to yell at someone about some stupid thing that appalled them, is transfer them to the "comment line" which people despise because its a recording and no one wants that. EVER. So Ive taken it upon myself to lie a little and tell them that our Communications Dept. is closed today and that their only option is to leave a message on this line and someone will definitely get back to them tomorrow. If I dont lie they call me again and start yelling at me, so I lie. And Im more than happy to do it.

So this woman says fine, she'll leave a comment but first she wants to tell me her saga so I understand whats going on and justify her issue. She told me her whole story, which took literally 15 minutes, cried the whole time and said "long story short" 4 times. I only understood about 40% of her situations and just peppered her jabber with "right" and "uh-huh" every so often. She was upset because it rained on her child's communion and he didnt get to walk down the aisle or something, a fat woman blocked her view for the whole thing (no joke, she complained about a fat woman who wouldnt get out of the way) and the priest who didnt invite the kids back to their second communion or something. Because Im not Catholic, thank God (pun!), I dont really understand the regulations of whats suppose to happen and why its important. All I had to do for my communion was show up, read a paragraph of the Bible, take a shot of wine, eat the smallest slice of bread and in return I received a gaudy necklace with a dove on it and my very own Bible with my name stamped in it. Both of which I believe are lost. I wore all black, which I didnt really notice to be that morose until I sat next to Erica who was dressed something pink and sparkly. I also never returned to church again with the exception of Christmas and maybe an Easter or two.

So I have this woman who is crying about her son's slap in the face at his communion and how the priest who did the service didnt care and how her son asked her if God was mad at him, etc. So I listen to this woman until shes done and tell her that she has a right to be pissed, but I still have to direct her to the comment line because if I try to give her to anyone else, the bitch who works at the communications dept. will transfer her back to me and tell me they don't deal with things like this. Normally I don't really care about what the Catholics complain about because 99.9% of the time its about trivial crap, like a cell phone tower being put up next to their church which ruins its ambiance, but after having a woman cry to you for 15 minutes telling you that her child believes God is pissed at him can make you feel slightly compassionate. So I tell her to leave her comment (which, by the way, I had to consolidate for her into a three sentence message) and if no one gets back to her about it she can call back tomorrow and I will personally find someone for her to talk to. Just call me a Saint and give me my fucking halo.